If you can’t hit the g-spot… forget it… seriously…

… don’t bother… going gung ho in the wrong direction does nothing for either of us… I’ll just get frustrated and you will probably never know… well maybe you will, if you are listening.

Thrusting unpalatable dross down my throat really…?  is that the best you can do?  And if you think I won’t gossip about how rubbish you are… you’re wrong… what on earth do you think we ladies talk about…?

Seriously, I have already slated your prowess  and how badly you treated me so why on earth earth would you pull a stunt like this…? And getting my name wrong at the worst possible moment… well I would have expected more gentlemanly behaviour quite frankly…

Sending me a VIP invite to your latest sales drive… really?  I have NEVER driven a Mercedes and really if you think I am going to change my mind it takes damn site more than a £1 glossy card… and a crudely disguised “special offer” dressed up as something special… and when you update your database… I’ve been married for 13 years… and changed my name then too… your little black book needs some work…

PS – the G-spot is not that hard to find… just get a few simple things right like what I like, what I want and who I am and it sort of all falls in to place.. oh and if you ask me nicely I might even tell you…

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